When the Chief Mate Called Me His New Cabin Boy I Thought He Was Joking. When I Woke Up To Him Masturbating Beside My Bed I Realized He Wasn’t. I’m a USMMA ‘01 Grad & I’ve Never Told This Story

* This account was submitted to MLAA anonymously through our website by the author, who claims to be a member of the USMMA class of 2001. MLAA does not know the author’s identity*

I am a man who graduated from USMMA in 2001, and I wish to remain anonymous.

My first Sea Year during my sophomore year went smoothly and I truly thought the job was a dream come true. I was 19 years old, sailing around the world, and I could really see myself sailing as a licensed 3rd Mate upon graduation.

My second sea year was different. My first assignment was on the west coast sailing on an oil tanker. I was really excited to work my way towards a tankerman PIC endorsement, because I thought it would better enable me to find a sailing job when I graduated.

But almost immediately after boarding the ship, I knew this experience was going to be different than my first sailing. Within five minutes of reaching the top of the gangway, I found myself standing in a group of crewmembers who were being addressed by the Chief Mate.

When the Chief Mate saw me he said, “Hey guys, look, here’s my new cabin boy.” I understood what he meant, but I assumed it was said in jest. 

I was assigned to work with the Chief Mate and ordered to shadow him. The harassment and assaults began immediately. It started with him coming up and slapping me from the behind, completely inappropriate greetings, and continuous sexually-driven comments. 

Some of the things I remember him saying to me were: 

“I love it when Kings Point brings me boys.”

“What happens at sea, stays at sea.”

“Your success depends on me. How hard are you willing to work for it?”

“You are the cutest one yet.” 

The harassment was endless, relentless, and it never stopped. I cannot even begin to describe what it felt like waking up and every day knowing there was nothing I could do to stop it. I think what aggravated me the most was that these comments were made in public around other crewmembers, and yet nobody cared. I felt, and was, completely alone.

On our second trip of 2 week cycles, the Chief Mate told me I could take time off after a long oil transfer. I was exhausted and needed the sleep, so I gladly went to my room. Late in the evening, I was woken by someone touching my shoulder. Startled, I turned around to see the CM pleasuring himself right next to my bed. I was in complete shock and didn’t know what to do. He then told me I should help pleasure him. I got up and ran out my room.

Outside, I didn’t know what to do, so I just decided to sleep in a common area of the ship for unlicensed crew members. So many thoughts came through my head that night. I was in the middle of the sea, the 2nd highest ranking officer on the ship was using his power against me, and I had nobody I could turn to. As I sat there, I decided I would do nothing until I got back ashore.

The next day, the Chief Mate acted like nothing had happened. But he stopped the name calling for a few days, which made me think I was going to make it through the ordeal. When we made it to the next port, I was ready to call the school for help. But to my dismay, the Chief Mate would not let me leave the ship. This was before everyone had a cell phone. 

I was completely trapped, but I had to do something, so I asked the Captain if I could switch my watch rotation off of the Chief Mate’s watch to another mate’s. I told the Captain I wanted to change watches because it would help me learn what other mates of different ranks do on the ship. I never told the Captain the real reason, because I was too ashamed. 

The Captain told me the current rotation worked best for me, and that I was to stay on watch with the Chief Mate. At this time, it had been two weeks since the Chief Mate had come into my room while I was sleeping and begun masturbating right by my face. 

For those two weeks I had been using a chair to keep my room locked and a rope for extra security measures. The anxiety and fear I was experiencing was unbearable. It is a feeling I will never forget. 

At the next port I was asked to go ashore and pick up some things for the ship. I knew that it was finally my chance to get out of that situation. When I got to the nearest pay phone, I called the academy representative at Kings Point. I didn’t tell him I was being sexually harassed, because I didn’t want others to know. Instead, I just told him I was getting badly harassed on the ship, and asked if I could be moved to another ship. He said he would work on it, but I didn’t hear anything back from him.

We went back out to sea, and within a few days of being back at sea I began to notice that nobody on the ship would talk to me. They wouldn’t speak to me at all, including the Chief Mate. That’s when I realized my complaint to my representative at the Academy must have gotten back to the ship. 

With a sigh of relief, I assumed I would be getting off at the next port.  As we approached the next port, I had all my bags packed and was ready to go. I went to the captain’s office and asked if he had heard from the Academy representative. “I have,” he replied coldly. “And you will be staying on this ship.” 

The Captain then went on to ridicule me for what it meant to be a real sailor, and he told me that I was not suited for this line of work. I felt so broken inside. 

At the next port I called my representative up again and asked him why I was not getting off the ship. His response was also cold. “Listen,” he said, “we don’t have time to deal with whiny midshipmen who don’t appreciate the opportunities given to them.”

I tried to stand up for myself with the representative, and told him the harassment I was experiencing was real and that it was very unhealthy. His response to me was “You are the problem, not the ship.”

The discussion was over. At that point I felt like I had no choice but to endure it all. It required every ounce of my inner being to get through the next 75+ days on that ship. I was treated like a complete outcast. There was no communication, no teaching, no training. The only thing that made it bearable was that the Chief Mate did stop the harassment.

But I will never forget the way he stared at me. In my mind, I felt he would have killed me if he could have gotten away with it. Through his silence and his looks looks I understood what he was saying to me: “You didn’t fall into your place. You don’t belong here.”

About 45 days later I found freedom with a new Captain and crew, and I had no issues with them. Unfortunately, at that point I was already broken down to my soul. I finished off my Sea Year like a zombie and received low evaluation scores, did poorly on my sea projects, and lost all ambition. 

I went from being a student with excellent grades, outstanding achievement in my first year and first sailing to low scores on my second year and academics that followed. At no point did the USMMA do an assessment or ask me what had occurred on the ship. The Academy did nothing and asked nothing. They didn’t want to know, and told me I was the problem. 

I take responsibility for the fact that I wasn’t forthright to the ship’s captain, USMMA representative, or anyone else. They can only help if they know what is going on, and I censored what I told them, because I was just so scared and ashamed. In my mind, it felt like I must have done something wrong.

But I wish the academy representative could have understood how desperate I was when I called him. He just never seemed to care. 

This story is so hidden in my own thoughts. There isn’t a single person I have ever told it to. And I never will. But that doesn’t change the fact that it happened.