I’m a Current Marine Engineering Student at Kings Point. Not Every Woman Will Be Assaulted When She Goes Out to Sea, But Every Woman Will Face Some Sort of Unequal Treatment
* This account was submitted to MLAA through our website’s anonymous contact form by the author, who claims to be a current marine engineering student at the USMMA. MLAA does not know the author’s identity. *
I am a current marine engineering midshipman at USMMA. I was not assaulted during my Sea Year, but I was sexually harassed, and it has taken me a lot of time and discussions with friends and my significant other to even realize that it was harassment.
The harassment happened when I was a cadet on an ARC ship and we were at a layberth for nearly a month, which left plenty of time for shore leave. The night before we left the layberth, my sea partner, and I decided to go out with the 2nd Assistant Engineer.
We were all drinking more than we should have been, and my sea partner completely blacked out. She remembers nothing from that night, but I remember everything that happened.
At some point the 3 A/E and one of the Oilers came to the bar where we were drinking and came over to our table. They were both already extremely drunk. The 3 A/E kept putting his arm around me and trying to talk to me. I ignored him, hoping that he would stop. But he kept getting angry because I wouldn’t talk to him.
By 2200, I was ready to leave and get back to the ship so I could recover before the maneuver in the morning. When I told my sea partner that I wanted to leave, she ignored me. Then I told the 2 A/E that I wanted to leave, and he ignored me. Nobody else even thought about leaving until midnight.
Finally, the Uber was arrived, but there were only four seats for the five of us. The 3 A/E kept saying that I should just sit on his lap, and I kept saying “no.” Even while completely wasted, I knew that I would never say yes to him, in this situation or any other. After a while of arguing with the 3A/E, my sea partner decided that she would just sit on the 2 A/E’s lap since it was a short ride to the ship.
We got back to the ship, all went to our rooms, and the night was never discussed again. But I truly believe that if the 2 A/E hadn’t been with me and my sea partner that night, the 3A/E would have tried to assault us, and I never felt comfortable around the 3A/E after that.
I told my sea partner that, and she said I should tell the 1A/E. But I never did end up telling anybody else on the ship, because I didn't want to create any drama. I figured that telling anybody wouldn't do any good because there was no proof that he was harassing me, and it never escalated past that point.
Not every woman will be assaulted when she goes out to sea, but every woman will face some sort of unequal treatment. I am one of the lucky women who only had to face harassment, but that shouldn't be kept quiet either. By keeping quiet about this sort of common harassment, it only enables these predators to become more confident and eventually escalate to assault.
I feel guilt about not reporting my harassment because it might mean that he'll do worse to another cadet. If my story is published, I just want other cadets to have the confidence to report when these incidents happen even if they think it doesn't matter right now.