I was raped 3 times in the Coast Guard as a non-rate. Victims need a true ally against sexual abuse trauma, because the wounds never heal.

** This anonymous U.S. Coast Guard Survivor Testimonial was originally submitted to “The Pettiest Officer of the U.S. Coast Guard” on Facebook in May of 2024 and re-published by MLAA. MLAA does not know the identity of the author and has not verified any of the claims or allegations made in this testimonial. Light formatting changes for readability, or redactions for PII may have been applied before publishing. **

I was raped three times in the Coast Guard as a non-rate. I am very awkward and small town on the Polar Star. I would take breaks on the smoke deck by myself reading philosophy. No one was really interested in it except one person who would meet me and read Buddhism books beside me. I thought he'd become a close friend... We started dating, going out to eat, he lived off base. It was a nice escape. Yeah, he raped me three times. He drugged my drink, zip tied, gagged and raped me. It happened three times.

I went to him the last time thinking that we were just fooling around and things got out of hand because I was drinking and I really needed him to stop and he needed to get help. And while I was explaining this to him and he was agreeing and going along with the story about how he needed help, he asked me if I wanted a beer. I said sure but I'm only having one. And instantly I knew I'd been drugged all along.

This time was different. Okay, first when you're drugged, you go in and out of consciousness. It's like a total blackout and then you wake up, but barely and you can see things and hear things but you can't say anything and you can't move. This third time, I was watching during the moments of consciousness. I had bottles of beer in my vagina. I had someone videoing from the bathroom. He tied me up and left me. As soon as I built up energy and the drug started wearing off, every time I was conscious, I would scream and fight back. During that time of fighting back and blacking out, I realized my phone had been hidden and my keys had been taken from me. And then my rapist pointed to my vagina and laughed. Shocked, I looked down and I pulled out my keys from inside of my vagina. And I just started screaming and screaming and nobody came to my rescue. I started fighting back and hitting him when he started touching me and I had gained my strength and consciousness. I started hitting at him and he was naked and he leaned against the wall and put out his butt and turned and looked at me and blew me a kiss.

I filed a complaint because my friend forced me. She found me in the boatswain's hole crying behind the mooring line box. I told her I had been raped. So it went to the chain of command. Soon, there was an Article 32 hearing and a board of men, filthy sick bastard men. I told all the dirty details. Just writhing in pain and shame. Reliving all the memories and the trauma. And they concluded that I was participating in S&M bondage and I was having after sex regrets. They then tried to discharge me. And I went to a civilian organization to help me stay in and I was transferred.

At my next station, I'd fallen asleep at a party with some Coast Guard members and civilians. I had been doing keg stands and having a good time drinking. I woke up duct taped to a chair with my mouth gagged. They had heard about what had happened.

I went to the military counselor and told him what happened and they shipped me to rehab. If it wasn't for a Chief Warrant Officer and Senior Chief being such awesome people and knowing what a good person and what a hard worker I was and a value to the Coast Guard, I would have been out. Instead, they pushed for me to go to MST school and I did.

Then I get landed in an office with a man named Bob. Bob told me that he wanted me in his office because he liked to collect beautiful women. He would grab my ass and I would fall on the ground trying to get away from him. He would ask me into his office and to shut the door and he would ask me for a sexual relationship outside of work with no strings attached. I slapped him many times in the face. I finally told the lieutenant that transferred into the office of what was happening with Bob. And I told other people and they said Bob was Bob and I'd have to just tolerate it. Well, he saw a concern and I met with a military lawyer and they said I had 24 hours to press charges. If not, they were just going to wash it away. It got washed away because I was terrified of the previous Article 32. Also, they told me that Bob was more valuable than me and that I needed to consider leaving.

I had a mental emotional breakdown later on the BP spill and was put on a psychiatric hold then discharged for PTSD and an inability to transition into the Coast Guard. When it was time for me to leave, they asked me if I was going to kick and scream or go quietly. I went quietly. I was exhausted and so disappointed and ashamed.

People need a true ally against sexual abuse trauma. Because the wounds never heal.