We sacrifice so much for this service, yet our cases are swept under the rug in return? It's disgusting and the truth will eventually come out.

** This anonymous U.S. Coast Guard Survivor Testimonial was originally submitted to “The Pettiest Officer of the U.S. Coast Guard” on Facebook in May of 2024 and re-published by MLAA. MLAA does not know the identity of the author and has not verified any of the claims or allegations made in this testimonial. Light formatting changes for readability, or redactions for PII may have been applied before publishing. **

I had been debating on messaging or not. Since I always look back and think, "Oh, that's not that big compared to other's experiences," but I don't want others to think that. No matter how big or "small" people may think an issue is, it's actually a huge thing that needs to be taken seriously. Harassment/assault, no matter the form - whether it is physical, verbal, or mental - is a huge issue in the CG.

I haven't experienced physical sexual assault in the CG, but when I was younger, I was violently raped and a few years later stuck in a very physically, sexually, and mentally abusive relationship. In both occurrences, I was too scared and pressured into not speaking out. I was stalked by my rapist for the longest time. Threatened by him and his friends. Always being asked, "Well, what were you wearing?" or "Well, you were basically asking for it." Since I was taught to be silenced or to be afraid, the comments I've been told in the CG, I knew affected me. But because of my past, I felt like it wasn't that big.

I was a non-rate and one of the 2nds always made me feel uneasy to be around. Eventually, we'd be on watch together or just a normal work day and he would ask if I was seeing anyone or if I was dating anyone. I felt it was none of the boat's business, but I always said no and left it at that. Then it went to comments like, "Oh, still no boyfriend? Or guys all over you?" He'd look me up and down weirdly and say things like, "Shocking, I would have thought all the guys around base would be all over you." When that started, I felt even more uneasy around him. One Valentine's Day, he kept asking me if I was spending it with someone and was so "shocked" that I was spending it alone. He never asked anyone else that day, just me consistently. At that point, I was ready to get A-school orders so I could leave. I was already miserable at that unit.

My supervisor and another first in another department made that unit hell for me as well. No matter what I did, I was always in the wrong or "doing it wrong." They never took the time to teach me anything. They set me up to fail, then took it out on me when I had to figure it out on my own. One of the firsts had it out for mainly the females. The only other female and I were in charge of way more than we should have been since our supervisor just pushed it onto us. One day, we were working on R&S things, then suddenly got asked to meet one of the firsts. They knew we had our hands full with getting a lot inspected and organized. We got yelled at and in trouble because we didn't clean up after lunch when we were told the guy would do it. I looked over and the guys were just laughing and joking, yet not getting in trouble. Once the first was done, he walked right over to the guys and started joking around with them. The guys could get away with anything around him. The other female and I, on the other hand, were basically threatened with page 7s and disciplinary action all the time.

My supervisor, who was the other 1st, always talked to us like we were stupid and never took the time to help the females but would drop anything for the guys. One set of marks, one guy, the female, and I all had the same marks. We would go in on our own time together and get a lot done. The guy got great marks and praise. The female and I... were both told our marks were shitty and we just put down stuff that is a part of our job and it's not mark worthy. I'm not one to get upset in the work environment, but I remember crying in that office because of how beat down I felt. I joined so excited to be in, and at that time, all I wanted was to be out. I didn't care what it took, I just knew I had to leave. They could physically see how much they affected me. I never slept because I would just re-think over the day, thinking what I did wrong at work and why they treated us so differently. I dreaded going into work so much. You could tell I was so depressed and miserable there, but they fed off of that. They had drained me so bad.

We finally went to one of our higher-ups and explained everything. He said he'd have a talk with them and fix it. Yet the whole conversation, he looked like it was going in one ear and out the other. Nothing ever changed. I threw my name on an A-school list to leave. Got to A-school and realized it's not what I want. The school house said I might have to go back to that unit and I freaked out. I told them everything. Shortly after, an officer reached out asking for a statement. I spoke to her 3 times, then silence. Nothing. One got to happily retire. One got to move to a better position. And the other got to rank up. Nothing happened at all. Not even a talk. Luckily, I was able to swap to the school I wanted and now I'm at an amazing unit with an amazing supervisor. But a year ago, I wanted nothing more but to get out of the CG as a whole. Thinking that was all the CG was. Thinking I'd spend my whole career being shut down, belittled, and had uncomfortable references made to me.

It's not fair that so many of us in the CG have had to deal with all harassment/abuse. We sacrifice so much for this branch, yet we get cases being swept under the rug in return? Do better, CG. It's disgusting and the truth will come out. All of the people who have done awful things to members deserve to be outed. I do wish to stay anonymous in this only because I still feel "too close" to that unit and one of the people who affected me.

I just want everyone to know no matter how "little" you may think a situation is, I promise it's not little. It's huge. Don't be scared to speak up or get help. These people need to be stopped and have the proper punishment. Even though I am at a better unit, my view of the CG is still so crushed. I went from an excited 20-year-old to get out of my home town and have new beginnings, to someone I didn't even recognize, and I'm still rebuilding myself back up.

Like I said before, do better, Coast Guard. And to the victims, please don't be scared to speak up. We hear you and are ready to help.