When I told my Master Chief I’d been raped, he called me a “whore” & said if I had just “kept my legs together” it wouldn’t have happened. This was 1987, but I can still hear his voice.

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A friend introduced me to a male Coastie who was also stationed in St Louis, but on one of the bouy tenders on the Base. I was at the District Office downtown. His dad was a SKC, also at D2 downtown. I was on the 4th floor, his dad was on the 6th.

We went out for a while, but I wasn't really feeling it, so I broke it off. Also, since D2 had no berthing (unlike Base and the tenders), the CG put us up in apartments, about 30 minutes south of downtown.

A couple of weeks after I broke it off with the SN, he knocked on my apartment door. The chain was on the door, so I felt safe opening it. When I wouldn't let him in, he broke the door down. He raped me on my couch.

I reported it to my YNCM (Yeoman Master Chief Petty Officer). He just laughed and said I was delusional. He said he knew [REDACTED] AND [REDACTED]’s dad (through the good ole' chief's network) and [REDACTED] would never do that. After that, I buried it deep.

Until 6 weeks later, when I went to sick call (we used the Army sick call in downtown St Louis) and found out I was pregnant. The Doctor yelled at me for going to sick call for a pregnancy test. I didn't know I was pregnant, I was just sick... in the mornings. I hadn't been with anyone sexually except [REDACTED], and the last time it was consensual was about 10 weeks before. The blood test they did in sick call said I was ~6 weeks pregnant. He raped me and got me pregnant.

There's more. Much more. Stuff I've never told anyone else, not even my husband (been married 31 years).

I could not have a baby. I was barely an E2, and couldn't afford termination (I didn't know about Planned Parenthood then). I asked my HS2 (he was stationed at Army suck call), and he said the CG/military wouldn't pay for termination, but they would provide all medical care associated with the pregnancy, including delivery, if I had the baby.

I told my YNCM I was pregnant, and HOW I got pregnant. He called me a whore (in the nastiest voice ever) and said "if [l] had just kept my legs together, I wouldn't be in shit." This was in 1987, and I can still hear him saying this, yelling this at me. Needless to say, word got around that I was pregnant.

I couldn't afford to terminate, so after a long time thinking, I decided to go through with the pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption. In a way, at least for a short while, I was lucky. An LT at D2 and his wife couldn't have children, so he approached me with the idea of a private adoption. I liked the idea of my baby going to an officer's family (I was a navy brat, raised by my grandparents and my grandfather was a CDR in the Navy). Perfect solution, right?

Then the command found out that the LT was going to adopt my baby. They said no. I got moved to a new office at D2. I knew a YN2 who worked in Legal. He said he and his wife volunteered at an adoption agency. So I called them and they handled the adoption.

But I had serious issues. My mental health really suffered. After the baby was born, I was super depressed. My marks went down -- where before I was making 4's, 5's and 6's, I now was making 2's and 3's. My weight went up. A new CWO came in, was told I lied about being raped, and he had it out for me.

He brought me to Mast for something stupid, I don't even remember what it was, but I was cleared, as it was obviously a bogus charge. But the Captain saw that I had gained weight, so they put me on a program where if I didn't lose x amount of pounds by x date, I would be discharged.

Of course I gained weight! I was so lost, so depressed, so sad -- no one believed me. And so they set my discharge date -- 23 days prior to the date that I would have received my GI Bill benefits -- that I had paid $1200 for -- the main reason I went into the Coast Guard.

** This anonymous U.S. Coast Guard Survivor Testimonial was originally submitted to “The Pettiest Officer of the U.S. Coast Guard” on Facebook in May of 2024 and re-published by MLAA. MLAA does not know the identity of the author and has not verified any of the claims or allegations made in this testimonial. Light formatting changes for readability, or redactions for PII may have been applied before publishing. **