I Was Sexually Assaulted By Four Different Men While a Student at Cal Maritime and the School Did Nothing to Help Me. I’m Speaking Up for the Cadets Who Don’t Have a Voice.

*This account was submitted to MLAA by the author, a graduate of the California Maritime Academy*

I wish to remain anonymous, as I have suffered enough.

The recently released screenshots of group chats between the Cal Maritime corps leadership that exposed their homophobic views may be surprising to some. But for myself and other LGBTQ+ cadets at Cal Maritime, those attitudes are something we have been aware of since Day 1.

When I arrived at Cal Maritime, I was fully out of the closet. When I decided to attend, I knew the school was not a bastion of progressivism, but I had always been secure with who I was, life had always been an uphill battle, and I figured Cal Maritime would just be another hill to climb.

But my journey through Cal Maritime was much more difficult than I ever imagined. And while I persevered and managed to graduate, I now realize that no one should ever have to struggle uphill because of their sexuality. 

During the four years I spent at Cal Maritime, I was sexually assaulted by four different men. After each of those assaults, I reported the perpetrator to the school and lodged a formal complaint. No action was ever taken against any of these students.

Three of the men who assaulted me were upperclassmen. The small community at Cal Maritime and the forced environment and forced interactions made living on the same campus with these men very difficult. But one of the men who assaulted me was my classmate, and he was in my division. That meant I had to attend classes with this person, had to work on group projects with him, and attend social functions and training cruises with him. The housing arrangements at Cal Maritime ensured that I had to live through the trauma of what he did to me every day.

I suffered from PTSD because of all these situations, and the symptoms almost prevented me from being able to graduate from the school. Many times I found myself questioning if following my dream of becoming a professional mariner was worth more to me than the cost of having to relive the memories of being sexually assaulted by four different men.

When the school did nothing to help me, I went to friends. Because Cal Maritime is a mostly heterosexual male school, most of my friends were straight men who accepted me, but they were uncomfortable with any “gay talk.” Those friends with whom I felt comfortable disclosing what had happened to me were also friends with the assailants, and they chose to not believe me. It was easier for them to just pretend like nothing had happened. After talking about being assaulted, I was shunned from groups and social events for trying to start “drama” or “separate groups”.

The one hope I did find through all of this was the faculty at Cal Maritime. We have some really great professors at Cal, and if anyone reading this is in a similar situation, there is so much support for you from certain members of the faculty.

There were also a few faculty members who weren’t so great. I had teachers who made gay jokes, racist jokes, and sexist jokes. And all in front of their students with no regard to our back stories or who we were.

I’m so happy people are finally coming forward with their stories, because I truly hope that future generations of students at Cal Maritime will live under better circumstances than I did. 

The lack of basic human decency at the school and in the maritime industry goes beyond sex, race, religion, or sexual identity. We need to be better. We need to create a better environment for the next generation of seafarers.

I am telling my story so that others may find the support they need—the support that wasn’t there for me. And I’m speaking up for all the cadets who don’t have a voice.

Cadets like me.