After Kings Point I Was Excited About My Career as a Marine Engineer. But Sexual Discrimination & Lack of Support Forced Me Out of the Industry. It’s Sad, and I Miss It.

*This story was submitted to MLAA by the victim, a graduate of the U.S. Merchant Marine Academy*

I made it through 4 years of KP, passed my Coast Guard license exams, and graduated with an engineering degree and a 3rd Engineer’s license.  After graduation I was excited to start my career as a marine engineer.  I went to work in the offshore oil industry, and it did not take long for my excitement to turn into something very different.  On my first day aboard as a licensed officer I was asked why a woman would want to work in this industry and my supervisor told me I should have gotten an office job.  In my short offshore career, I was lucky enough to never have a crew member sexually assault me, but I was drown with sexual discrimination.

I was told women who wore leggings in the gym were asking to be sexually harassed, I was told women can’t do the job because they aren’t as strong as men, and I was told I’m always going to be behind because “I didn’t grow up working on cars with my dad.”  I was ignored during meetings, was given “mechanical tests” that no man was ever required to take, and my work was always under a microscope.  When new male 3rd Engineers came onboard they never had to go do work alone to “prove they can do it” like I had to (a situation that continued for a year).

These men had no reason to assume these stereotypes about me.  I never told them if I did or didn’t work on cars with my dad, they just assumed that.  Not once did they ask me how much I could bench press, they just assumed I wasn’t strong.  And I never said that I wished I had taken an easier career path.  I never spoke up or told anyone about the sexual discrimination I was enduring because I didn’t want to use the “girl card,” aka, “standing up for yourself and making people accountable for their actions,” and I didn’t want to be blacklisted.  

One of the saddest parts of my experience was that all of the men in my department were young.  The oldest was 36, so when I joined I thought they wouldn’t be as “old school” and I wouldn’t have issues.  But I was wrong.  During turnover my boss would talk to the new guys and not even look at me.  I even had other guys in the department come to me and say, “damn he (the 1st Engineer) doesn’t even look at you” or “wow, what he just said was messed up.”  I never turned down work and I think I had a good attitude.  Sometimes things would get under my skin, like the comments about women wearing yoga pants asking for it, and I would snap back a bit to let them know they were being ignorant.  But I tried to work hard and to fit in.

I worked offshore for 4.5 years after graduating from KP, and was at my last company for a year and a half.  I was about to finish my sign offs to sit for my 1st Assistant Engineer exams, but I had zero support from my department and in the end it was enough to make me want to leave the industry.  3 months ago I quit and moved shoreside.

I loved working at sea, loved getting dirty and loved the satisfaction I felt after I fixed something. I really miss it, and it makes me sad.  I feel like less of a marine engineer because I came shoreside and I hate that I let that situation turn me cold and make me decide to leave the industry.  But I made the decision for my mental health and I know it was the right choice. Maybe I’ll go back one day, but if not I know that what I went through has lit a fire in me and I want to help anyone and everyone who has gone through a similar battle.

Most other girls I’ve talked to had similar experiences to mine where they just weren’t taken seriously in the industry and no amount of work could change mens’ minds.  The lack of respect went as far as sexual harassment in some cases, but luckily I never faced that.  I’d say what I faced was sexual discrimination.  The sad part is there were good times to be had and a lot of great people out there, it just sucks the people who were supposed to have my back—the people in my department—didn’t.

The HR person from my last job recently reached out to me to ask some questions about why I left, and I’m not even sure if I should mention the hurtful comments from my superiors or not. I find myself being like “well I know they’re good people and they have families and I don’t want to get them fired since I’m out of there now.” 

But I really don’t want any other women to go through what I went through.  Recently I heard from a woman engineer who started on there recently, and after one week onboard she has already confided in me that she is receiving the same treatment I received.  I had to tell her to just keep her head up.