I was Raped on Campus at SUNY Maritime, And Also Sexually Assaulted on Senior Cruise. After I Graduated I Never Looked Back.
* This account was submitted to MLAA by the victim, a graduate of SUNY Maritime College *
I attended SUNY Maritime almost ten years ago and I was raped on campus. I never reported the perpetrator because I saw how girls were slut shamed for the most ridiculous reasons. I was told you don't want to be "that girl" and "something like this will follow you for the rest of your career." Besides, I had been drinking on campus with upperclassmen (and other females) when this happened, so by the standards of that school it was practically my fault.
After I was raped, I saw this guy around campus. He asked me if I got pregnant, would I get an abortion. I told him no because I don't believe in that. He told me, "Well my mom is a lawyer and I'd get that baby taken away from you."
You know what the biggest joke on that campus is? The term "one hand." I remember after indoc feeling like I was "part of something" and that these people would have my back. The few "friends" I told about the rape either shunned me or shrugged it off like, “oh, well feel better soon!”
To say I struggled that year was an understatement.
I was also assaulted on my senior cruise and it made me go off the rails. I was supposed to be getting a 'Q' in the pump lab and the watch officer kept talking about random crap and kissed me. I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. It was so awkward I laughed it off, left the pump lab and fucking cried in my room.
My boyfriend was a deckie, but he had missed a cruise. He left the ship in Dublin. I went to grab drinks in Dublin with another girl who's boyfriend wasn't on the ship and we got roofied in some Dublin bar. To this day I don’t remember anything after our first drink. The next morning, people were telling me I did 'x, y, and z,' but I had no recollection. I was actually happy and in a good mood on my way to morning formation because I literally had no idea. I even had one of our "cool" regimental officers come up to me and say, "Well little lady, I don’t want to hear anything else about you for the rest of cruise." And he did that during a morning inspection at the next port after Dublin.
I went three full years at that school flying under the radar, but people saw me in that bar in Dublin and ran with it. I didn’t report a rape so I wouldn't look like a "dumb slut,” but it turned out that it didn’t matter after I got roofied in Dublin.
Of course I made the "light list," which is supposed to be everyone making jokes about stuff that happened on cruise. But it's just a chance for the guys to completely trash the girls and make us out to be "typical maritime girls." No one cared or asked my side of the story.
That cruise made me hate the school and I wanted to just finish my senior year without incident. I was of the mindset that everyone can go fuck themselves. I didn’t want to be a rate, I didn’t want to participate in sports. I just wanted to graduate and move on.
But I got written up for 2 golds and had to run around campus collecting statements to refute the charges. I ended up with only 30 demerits. But that year was the worst. It was MUG stricter than my year and I hated it.
But eventually I made it out of there, and I’ve never looked back.