I went to the Coast Guard Academy. Do my “friends” know I was being raped by their “friend” while they slept in the next room on Spring Break?

** This anonymous U.S. Coast Guard Survivor Testimonial was originally submitted to “The Pettiest Officer of the U.S. Coast Guard” on Facebook in May of 2024 and re-published by MLAA. MLAA does not know the identity of the author and has not verified any of the claims or allegations made in this testimonial. Light formatting changes for readability, or redactions for PII may have been applied before publishing. **

I am a LCDR in the Coast Guard Reserve and prior active duty officer. I was sexually assaulted my 4/c year at the Coast Guard Academy, raped my 3/c year, and assaulted again my 2/c year. I dared not say a word because I knew it would be a he said/she said situation, I would not be believed, and I feared getting myself or my "friends" in trouble. I then went on to be sexually harassed on my cutter, which was reported to the CO, XO, and OPS but it was perceived as a "me" problem and there were zero repercussions for those involved, the command refused to even issue a page 7. Fast forward nearly 10 years later and my new Sector CO hugged me in front of my new coworkers - I had met the man briefly once before during a National Night Out event in my neighborhood (he was wearing civilian clothes and I had no clue who he was).

My first assault happened when I was 18 years old. A handful of my classmates and I were watching a movie being projected on the wall in a room of Chase Hall. It was a weekend, early afternoon, door was open and one of my classmates reached over and put his hand down my shorts and began fondling me right there with everyone in the room... I froze, zero reaction. It went on for a few minutes and then he stopped. I didn't say anything because he was fairly popular, well liked, and there were multiple people in the room who saw nothing and I didn't tell him to stop or even push him away... I even stayed until the movie was over. Why would anyone believe me?

My rape, which I only recently realized was in fact a rape rather than just an assault, happened my 3/c year on spring break. I was part of a very close group of 5 friends, I happened to be the only female. We had dinner as a group daily, hung out after dinner, had a set lunch every weekend together at Mr. G's (local restaurant). We pretty much spend all of our time together and became a close group of friends. We decided to get a house out near Ocean City for Spring Break. We were all underage of course but managed to get quite a bit of alcohol and spent most of the week exploring the area during the day and drinking heavily at night. The guys all got the bedrooms and I slept on the couch in the sunroom. Our final night we again drank quite a bit but I don't really remember much about what we did. What I do remember is waking up in the middle of the night with a huge weight on top of me. I was sleeping on the couch and one of the guys (football player - more than double my weight) was laying on top of me. As I started coming to, I realized he had his fingers inside of me. I tried to pull his hand away but he was too strong and he just pushed in further/harder. I tried to say no and then to scream but nothing came out of my mouth because he had it covered with his other hand. I passed out again.

In the morning I woke up and the guys were eating breakfast and the vibe was definitely different that morning. The guys weren't really talking and we drove back. Again I didn't say anything because they were all treating me different and I didn't know if it was because they saw what he did or he told them something. I had a bad cut internally from his fingernail that took a while to heal and I still have a scar because of it. My "friends" stopped waiting for me to head down for dinner, stopped including me in weekend plans. No one ever talked about spring break, there was a reference one of them made about not wanting to repeat that spring break (I don't know what was meant by that). I felt like I was being shunned and eventually I was pushed out of the group since I was no longer being included. I kept silent until the #metoo movement started and slowly started to realize that I had actually been raped (per the legal definition). I now work with two of those friends in my Coast Guard reserve and civilian capacity. I wonder if they know what really happened? Did they see it or did he just brag about "hooking up" with me? Do they know I was being raped by their "friend" while they slept in the next room? Again silence because why would I be believed and if I had said something we would have all gotten in trouble for underage drinking.

My 2/c year another party and more alcohol - I had two guys physically fighting to rip my swimsuit top off (they each had a grip on opposite side of my top and where playing a tug-a-war with me holding my top on to keep my breasts covered. They broke the latch on my suit but eventually stopped and moved on to doing something else. Just drunk guys being guys right? No harm done.

Fast forward to graduation and my first assignment on a cutter. I was the only female on board for the first few months and was placed in the "penalty box", the stateroom next to the CO, XO, and OPS. My roommate arrived a few months later during our last port call on my first patrol. The next underway period the JOs in the class ahead of me had organized a wetting down during a port call in El Salvador. It was at the only hotel in the port (one portion of the hotel also turned out to be a brothel but this wasn't known beforehand). When we arrived there were bottles of Jack Daniel's and 2 liters of Coke on every table - I honestly don't remember any food but there may have been. Needless to say the entire crew got wasted. My roommate and I (again the only females) were thrown in the pool fully clothed by the crew multiple times. At one point my roommate and I were told that the engineers were making bets to see who could sleep with one of us first. I being very drunk and irritated from being repeatedly tossed in the pool yelled over to the engineers that they could go f**k themselves. One of the MKs then started getting close with my roommate, hugging her and trying to kiss her. We both made it back to the ship and went to sleep. Our BMCS (who was amazing and didn't drink) found out about what had happened and brought it up to the CO. The CO didn't want to ruin anyone's career and refused to even do a page 7 for the MK that had been touching my roommate. My roommate started having severe anxiety caused by this and also the fearful work environment (our XO was a screamer - and any mistake even so much as stuttering when making an announcement on the 1MC would get you yelled at - and you'd hear it coming from the other end of the ship). She was medically discharged for severe anxiety/panic attacks. Her prior career had been with the Wildland Fire Service so she was hardly delicate. I was without a roommate again for a while.

My male classmate told me that the engineers were watching me on the CCTV when I was using the stairstepper in the laundry room (I wore baggy shorts and my Academy PT shirt). He said he made them stop when he saw it but he knew they turned it back on as soon as he left. I went to the XO - he told me "PUT A SOCK ON THE CAMERA WHEN YOU WORKOUT SO THEY CAN'T WATCH YOU." WTF! The next year we got two more female JOs. My roommate and I avoided the major drinking events and hung out with the Chiefs. The two other female JOs went to the bars and apparently got very drunk and one of them tried to kiss one of the married non-rate males (he did not want it). The command was told about what happened. Myself and my roommate got in trouble (braced up and yelled at in the COs office) because we should have been "supervising" the other two females during port calls... nothing happened and that female JO went on to get a women's leadership award during her next tour.

We stayed silent because our culture did not support victims and protected perpetrators. I didn't want to jeopardize my career and when I did speak out it was my problem to deal with. I had hoped things had changed as today I have hit my 20 years in the Coast Guard. While we now have more resources we still don't call out the perpetrators. The organization needs to start making an example of those that prey on others and those that foster an environment to allow it to happen. Calling them out by name and tarnishing their "reputation" is how you make sure it is clear that behavior will no longer be accepted.