The Coast Guard taught me what discrimination and harassment actually feels like, how predators in the fleet operate, and how the good ole boy network still thrives.
** This anonymous U.S. Coast Guard Survivor Testimonial was originally submitted to “The Pettiest Officer of the U.S. Coast Guard” on Facebook in May of 2024 and re-published by MLAA. MLAA does not know the identity of the author and has not verified any of the claims or allegations made in this testimonial. Light formatting changes for readability, or redactions for PII may have been applied before publishing. **
A piece of advice that was given to me by an old XPO, "If you're to take down a king, make sure you have all your ducks in a row."
I've never experienced sexual assault or harassment based on my physical appearance. I can say though that I have had the unfortunate pleasure of being subject to anti-gay discrimination. Unfortunately, I couldn't prove it at the time that it occurred and I can't prove it now, but that's how the good ole boys do it. They're smart. One of the smartest at covering his tracks is none other than good ole boy Carlos Hessler. He's smart and calculating, somehow skates through every command climate investigation without so much as a scratch. That said, command climate investigations rarely lead to any actual change. Anyhow, his units are almost always rife with toxicity.
I still remember how I stopped getting trained after coming to the holiday party that year with my boyfriend. Everyone said they didn't care who I dated, that they supported me. But their actions spoke louder than words, but it is damn near impossible to prove discrimination when the people responsible are smart and keep it unwritten. The gay "jokes" started and it wasn't a couple of harmless jokes every once in a while, it was almost every conversation that I had at that unit. Every conversation had some sort of gay reference or a joke, assumptions that I was a bottom. I should have put a foot down then, but being an unqualified BM3 it was made clear that I really didn't have a voice at the unit. I finally got so fed up that I lateraled out of the BM rating and am now thriving.
TO BE CLEAR, I have zero physical evidence that the command at the unit conspired against me because I was dating a man. The good ole boy network doesn't write this shit down. Discrimination and harassment is often times extremely difficult to prove, it is difficult enough for women to be believed - it's a whole different ball game for men.
When I was in Petaluma, I had the pleasure of catching up with an old non-rate of mine from that unit, she is now off doing better things in the fleet. Well, I found out that when she first reported to the unit, an MK3 was talking to her and had masturbated to completion in front of her in the crew lounge (the only good spot in that is that he kept it in his pants, but still-that is so beyond wrong). She didn't say anything at the unit because she (and I'm paraphrasing) didn't want to cause any problems. I recognize this isn't an excuse and I don't condone what this MK3 did; but, I do know that he had been pretty horribly bullied and harassed himself at this unit prior to our arrival there.
On a separate occasion, while I was going to the boathouse I noticed at least half of the engineering department coming out and she was the only deckie present. They claimed nothing happened, but it has remained very suspect to me. Especially when I finally heard stories of some of them buying her (underage) booze and having her stay at their place (it was at best very cringe and very illegal, and at worst, whatever happened must have been absolutely heinous). Again no proof of any wrong, just anecdotal hearsay.
To sum all this up: we have some serious culture issues to address in the fleet. I am not upset at what happened to me at that unit, I learned what discrimination and harassment actually feels like. I learned how predators in the fleet operate and I learned how the good ole boy network still thrives. I have blossomed in my new rating and make this promise: if you find me in your galley, know that you have a safe space. You have a safe person to be with. You have someone who will fight to the death of their career for your health, safety, and well-being. And you get cookies, really good cookies or whatever dessert you want.
And to the predators that may be reading this: you probably don't know me and I probably don't know you, but if we cross paths and I find out that you have harmed my baby brothers or sisters, you will not enjoy the reckoning that will follow.